wallylives: i think everyone has that one phrase that we all use ironically but then after a while it just becomes completely unironic like i used hot diggity once as a joke and now i say it all the time im telling you ironic phrases are like gateway drugs to being openly mocked
timecannotberewritten: dovahqueene: iwishlilbwasmygrandpa: There are thousands of half-babies in my ballsack and that’s terrifying at least you don’t bleed them out every month you make a compelling argument
jaclcfrost: jaclcfrost: i was watching a movie with subtitles on and now i’m no longer roused how am i supposed to watch the movie
berlynn-wohl: claricedemedici: dareandwriteitdown: egredi: Reblog if your boobs glow in the dark. #mine glow blue when orcs are near mine go ding when there’s stuff Mine are the real
-annoying: who the hell decided that sean sounds like shawn
ayeleesh: when you see your reflection on your laptop screen and you just look
sithlordtennant: For every reblog this gets, I will murder one of my classmates and carve your url into their spine.
urinatings: i hate getting attached to people bc i literally never stop thinking about them
me: *goes on the computer*
parents: OH I GUESS SINCE YOU'RE ON THE COMPUTER IT MEANS THAT YOU'RE PERFECTLY 100% BETTER NOW GO TO SCHOOL AND GRADUATE AND GET A JOB AND GET MARRIED AND DIE
shutupaubrey: i’d rather be a skittle than a human
nointerrruption: *calls family member by mom’s request* *silently prays it goes to voicemail*
Friend: What's the difference between ships and otps?
Me: Ships make you smile and sigh and get a little teary-eyed maybe. Otps make you claw your own face off and sob.
hungarian: it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
raratumtugger: I want to hug you (◕‿◕✿) And kiss you (◡‿◡✿) And maybe bite you just a little (⊙‿⊙✿)